The Gift That is Nanay

Nanay was my grandmother. I call her by that Filipino word which means "mother" rather than what we normally use for grandmothers ("lola"). At 81 years old, she passed away in a hospital bed on June 7, 2007 at 10:15 A.M. I received a phone call ten minutes later at my office that Nanay had passed.


The effect on me was emotional. I mourned her physical death, yet I have the assurance that she's with the Lord Jesus Christ in heaven, having had a personal relationship with Him in her lifetime. Nanay had suffered from the stroke since August 2005, and has spent her last year living in my home city, Iloilo. She's originally from Manila. The conclusion of her race of faith was here, and she spent most of the time inside my parents' house, where I live.


I would spend time with her in her room and read her the Bible and pray with her. She was no longer capable of reading, and the right side of her body was mostly paralyzed. This was my main ministry to my grandmother -- to make sure she stayed close to the Lord. I even remember one night where we had worship right in her room, and I led worship with the guitar. She was singing her heart out to the Lord, although she couldn't articulate her words very well anymore.



Nanay was a gift to me. I grew up knowing her as Nanay. She was a second mother to me and to my sister, and she would always communicate her love to us, especially when we're staying in Manila. Growing up, I would go to Manila frequently, every year or two, most times with my mom, and I would stay at my grandparents' house. I would say she's the most excellent cook I had ever known. And I doubt that anyone in our family has been able to cook as excellent as she has. She was a master chef around the house.



Nanay finished her race strong. I know she's in heaven worshipping our Savior, and rejoicing in His love and faithfulness. The suffering is over. She is finally home. Nanay lived to see her great grandchild and to carry her in her arms, who happens to be my niece. She is an example of what it is to be a mother.

I still remember the last conversation I had with her before she had the stroke. It was the last time we talked wherein she was still able to articulate words. It was July 2005, and my parents were both in Manila and I was left alone in Iloilo. I talked to Nanay over the phone and she asked how I was doing, being alone in the house. I said I was doing fine and I can manage. Then she asked, "Pwde ka na pala mag-asawa?", and I replied yes. Sometimes relatives who haven't seen me in a while still imagine me as a child. But then they realize how old I am after a while. I would always remember that last conversation and if I ever get married, Nanay would be one of the people in my mind. I would be thinking about her, and though she wouldn't be there among the guests, my thoughts will include her.

Now it's time to continue my race. I want to finish strong as well...

The Finish Line

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us"
- Hebrews 12:1


The Bible compares our Christian walk to a race. No, not a sprint, but a marathon. Speed is not the determining factor in this race. It's endurance.

Imagine yourself in a race, with a large crowd watching, and some have already finished the race themselves. What are they saying to you?

Unlike an actual marathon, you don't know where the finish line is. You know there is one. But how much more do you need to run to get there? You don't know that. Okay, so you need an illustration from real life, right? Let's ask Mr. Wikipedia again:


I know, that picture wasn't so clear. But look very closely. The guy at the right is facing everyone else. You know who that is? That's the coxswain. The coxswain is the person in charge of a boat, particularly its navigation and steering. The others can't see the finish line, but he knows where it is. They have to get all their directions and encouragement from him.

Jesus Christ is like our coxswain. He knows where the finish line is, we don't. We just have to keep following His instructions, because we trust Him. We know that ultimately, all things work together for good (Rom. 8:28).

A story is told by Max Lucado of a man on an African safari deep in the jungle. The guide before him had a machete and was whacking away the tall weeds and thick underbrush. The traveler, wearied and hot, asked in frustration, “Where are we? Do you know where you are taking me? Where is the path?!” The seasoned guide stopped and looked back at the man and replied, “I am the path.”

Doesn't Jesus do the same? He did say He is the Way (John 14:6). He told us not to worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34). We follow Him day by day. To me, that's awesome. Jesus is our Way. Our path. And the Bible says that our path shines brighter everyday (Proverbs 4:18). Everyday is a step closer to the finish line when we see Jesus face to face to hear Him say, "Well done!"

Until that day comes, I have to keep reminding myself to live one day at a time. Not to jump to too many conclusions. Not to worry about my life tomorrow. Not to hold my plans too tightly. This world is passing away, and we are on a race. Let's finish strong, like the apostle Paul who said at the end of his life,

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing." - 2 Timothy 4:7-8

How did Paul do it? He left us with a clue.

"Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. " - Philippians 3:13-14


Press on, press on, and press on...

Letting Go

"Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.

And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God."

- John 6:68-69

As you follow the Lord, have you ever had to let go of someone? Perhaps not in proximity, just inwardly. I had to do it again. God was speaking to me for a few weeks now, to let go of my intentions for someone, someone special. Yes, you've guessed it. I was in love. Was. But now God just wants me to be in love with Jesus only, for now at least.

Letting go of someone or something may be difficult. Abraham was asked to offer his son Isaac on the altar. John the Baptist had to let go of a potential ministry in priesthood to become the voice in the desert who would prepare the way of the Lord. Jesus Himself laid down His life on the cross to pay the price for our sins.

Following in Jesus' footsteps means realizing that He is not cold or distant to our struggles. It also means that we're trusting Him, and could say together with Jesus, "Nevertheless not as I will, but as You will." Not our will, but God's will be done.

When we give God a blank piece of paper, He draws something wonderful on that paper. He is the master craftsman, and we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus. That blank piece of paper is our lives. I'm excited at what God's gonna do in my life. I've given Him my paper. Have you given Him yours? He says He knows the plans He has for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us (Jer. 29:11).

We may feel crucified whenever we surrender to the Lord, but the crucified life is also the resurrected life. God's Spirit and power that raised Jesus from the dead dwell in us (Rom. 8:11).

To close this post, I want to quote one of Jeremy Camp's songs entitled "Letting Go", from his album "Restored" (which I highly recommend):

Letting go of the things I hold so dear
Letting go of all my pain and all my fears
Holding on to the things I deem so strong
Holding on even though my faith has been built so long
Holding on to the things I deem so strong
Holding on, holding on to what I know
I'm letting go

Chrysalis

The butterfly -- yes, we can talk about this now. Butterflies are fascinating creatures in that they emerge from a worm-like creature to a beautiful flying insect.

As we go through life, changes happen constantly. New seasons, new friends, new jobs, new churches, new ministries, new babies, new cars, and many more. Changes happen.

I personally struggle with discomfort in seasons of change. But on occasions like this, it is good to remember that the most uncomfortable stage in a butterfly's life is the pupal stage. The butterfly at this stage is called a Chrysalis. To illustrate, here's another picture from Wikipedia:



Max Lucado's Hermie illustrates very well the parallel of Christian character development to that of a Chrysalis. When God is working in our lives, we get impatient at times when all we do is eat leaves everyday, so to speak. The daily life is getting a little bit too boring for us and we start looking for new thrills. But the lesson here is to trust God and rest in Him, since He is going to give us a heart like His. This is Christlikeness, the true gem of Christian character and spiritual maturity.

Considering the story of Hermie, as well as any other butterfly, there is that stage in the cocoon when the Chrysalis struggles to get out. This is a critical stage. If you try to help out a Chrysalis, you'll kill it. And if we try to help God in this stage of struggle in our Christian walk, we might not be receiving all that God has for us. Let's not get into the arm of man -- the power of the flesh, but allow the Holy Spirit to mold us into Christlikeness. This can mean a new season in our lives -- something fresh that God is preparing. The transition can be painful.

I remember a struggle I had in the past when I was finishing my master's degree. I got very comfortable with the lifestyle of a distance education student, and it was time to end that season of my life. God's time for me to step into a new season was at hand. God did move. He helped me get out of that wilderness into a new season in my life, but I had to let Him do it. I had to pray and trust God everyday, and listen to His instructions for that day. God guided me every step of the way, and it wasn't even at just one place. I had to travel a lot.

Here I am in my new cocoon. I sense that God is getting ready to do something new in my life again. Whether it be a molding of my character, changes in my schedule, or any other change, it will be for my growth. And if God is doing the same work in you, praise Him for that. You're about to fly. In the words of Heimlich the caterpillar in A Bug's Life, "I will become a beeeeautiful butterfly!" Unlike Heimlich though, we would really be able to fly. =)

Learning to Fly

I'm a Filipino, so here is a picture of a Philippine eagle from Wikipedia:



"As an eagle stirs up its nest,
Hovers over its young,
Spreading out its wings, taking them up,
Carrying them on its wings,
So the LORD alone led him,
And there was no foreign god with him."

- Deuteronomy 32:11-12

It is in times where we are uncomfortable that God trains us for the tasks ahead. An illustration of this is the way a mother eagle trains its young to fly. The eagle's nest is built on a very high place, up on the rocks and mountains. The mother eagle hovers over the nest and allows the eaglet to watch it in action. As the eaglet is fed and nurtured, it slowly grows bigger day by day. Now the nest is made up of prickly thorns pointing inward. As the eaglet grows bigger, it starts to bump into the thorns and gets poked by them. It gives the eaglet that feeling of wanting to get out of the nest.

After that, the mother eagle will take the eaglet and throw it off the nest, plunging down in terminal velocity only to catch it right before it hits the ground and places it back on the nest. The eaglet, scared from being so close to death, sits on the nest only to be thrown again. The mother eagle catches it again. The mother eagle does this over and over.

Until one day, the eaglet gets so sick and tired and angry at this cycle that in rage, it starts flapping its wings as it experiences free fall. And guess what, it discovers one thing -- it can fly!


Recently I've been in uncomfortable situations. This has been going on now for about a year, but I'd like to focus on the recent days.

I've been asked to substitute for my pastor who went out of town for a pastors' conference, to teach the midweek Bible study. This was something I had never done before, and it was a stretch. As I was preparing for that, my mom was also out of town and I had to watch over my grandma from time to time, and make sure the dogs are fed. I taught on Acts 27 - "Sailing Through A Storm".


After this, I was able to relax by attending a beach retreat with my churchmates the day before and on, a holiday. Little did I realize that all the travel, swimming, and just basically the whole trip wore me out.

































I also changed my ATM PIN which was required of us in the company, on the same holiday as well. I went back to my work the following day only to find out that the ATMs have been reset and I had to change the PIN again the next day.








I also had to say goodbye to an old friend (although it's never really goodbye among us Christians, we will be together for eternity), and that was sad. She's going to law school, but not here. I'm gonna miss her a lot.








As the week was coming to a close, I could finally rest, or so I thought. My church was getting ready to move out of our old facility into a new place.


This Sunday afternoon, we from the church helped out with moving our stuff (lots of it). I usually take naps on Sunday afternoons, but this was not one of those times. Don't get me wrong, I was glad to help.





























I had to go to work the following day and as I'm writing this, I will be at work in a few hours. My chance to write this is now, since I only had 5.5 hours of sleep and I can't sleep right now. It's 4:17 A.M. now.


So, as I'm experiencing free fall, time to spread my wings...

(Next time we can talk about the butterfly.)

What Matters

I want to share an e-mail forwarded to me by a very close friend, Dr. Mark. I grew up with him and we have known each other since we were kids. He continues to be an encouragement to me, as I journey through my walk with the Lord. Here's the e-mail content:
======================================

What matters
By Cito Beltran
Broadcast-Journalist
The Philippine Star

Having opted to live a less stressful lifestyle away from the limelight or the Rat Race, it's but normal for people who made the choice, to sometimes wonder if they did the right thing. They experience pangs of guilt about being underemployed, less productive and certainly reduced in their income potential. While everyone else is BUSY making a LIVING, you ask yourself if it's a mature thing to be at home or semi-retired at the farm. Are you wasting all your God-given talents raising kids, growing your own food, or simply living on very little money and simple needs? Shouldn't you be involved in today's politics, today's technology?And are your friends right about saying "Sayang Ka"?

Last month, a friend called me about an opening in a major corporation that was paying P300,000 a month, all the perks, and even a brand new Volvo. My friend asked me how I would react if the job was offered to me since I was very qualified. It took me all of 5 seconds to tell her I wouldn't accept it.

To begin with P100,000 would certainly end up with the government as taxes. That would leave me with only P200,000. To earn that, I would have to be at work by eight everyday, instead of coming up with imaginative tricks to wake up my daughter like placing her puppy in her bed, or simply standing over her watching this angelic child in her field of dreams.
I would have to eat breakfast by six, leave the house by 6:30. That means no more breakfast conversations with my wife and certainly an end to our morning prayers not just for us but for family and friends. From the P200,000, I would have to spend at least P20,000 a month or 10% of net to pay for gasoline driving the brand new Volvo to office everyday. So in effect, I would only be earning P180,000 or even less. Not to mention that my friends who sell Mercedes Benzes, Jaguars, etc. would brand me as a traitor.

From the net salary of +/- P180,000, I would have to give up the lunch I have with my wife 3 to 4 times a week at home. Instead my power of choice adds another burden where I would have to decide daily where in the business district I ought to have lunch, merienda if needed,
and from time to time even dinner. I would have to choose from a menu instead of whipping up something in my kitchen.

When you add up the bill, plus service charge, plus VAT you can easily average another P20,000 in expenses. Which means, that what we originally thought would be a net income of P200,000 has now gone down to P160,000.

In the absence of maintenance you can enter about P10,000 as your average monthly repair bill for labor and materials. So now, you discover you're only earning P150,000 a month.
Instead of being in a HOME I own, I will have to try to be "at home' in an office where I will be spending more of my "awake time". This finally solves the puzzle; why do we always fill our offices with personal stuff which we will have to take home in a box when we retire, resign or get fired? From having my independence and personal views, I would then have a real live flesh and bones Boss (because of what I thought was P200,000 a month salary) can tell me how to jump! Someone who's seniority or proprietary rights automatically makes him right even if he's stupid.

Because you now have to spend most of the time at the office or behind a desk, you can't do your regular walk in the park or jog around the village which is also your bonding time with your spouse, your kids, or your dogs.

You either join a gym or get a personal trainer. When you total fees, travel, and outfits, your monthly fitness bill would be around P5,000 which means your net pay just went down to P145,000 a month or less than half the original offered salary. My dear wife reminds me to include clothing and image-related expenditures specially for women. The clothes, the make-up, the jewelry, as well as the business accessories such as the laptop loaded with
Vistas program, the latest cell phones, iPod etc.

Even if you paid all of that on installment for 24 months, it would be in the area of P20,000 a month which further reduces your income to P125,000 a month.

The problem with this major part of the expense is many people mistakenly call them necessary investments, professional expense, but don't see them as deductions from PERSONAL wealth. It would also mean, not sharing the responsibility of taking our child to school, missing out on small talk that tell you big things in children's minds, and dropping out on all the parent-child activities. I would also nullify all the adjustments we made in
the last 5 years where we integrated home life with work in order to be more of a family than employees with a family.

Speaking of home life, anyone who spends a lot of time at work can testify that in your absence you will have to hire a full crew to do all the maintenance and repair you use to prevent or do yourself when you spend time at home. In your absence, who's going to fix leaking roofs, flooded toilets, busted aircons, creaking doors, or all the usual things REAL MEN with real tools do? If I actually went out to get the job that pays P300,000 plus a brand new Volvo, it would have cost mebreakfasts with my wife, trips to school with my
daughter, morning talks and prayers with God, affirmation of my role as husband, father. I would be relinquishing responsibility for my house, as well as my home.

What we've done is determine what really matters, what and how much we really need, give up what we don't need or care for and trust in God and not in men. This is what I call real life cost-benefit analysis. To make an accounting of what we think we're getting against what we know we're losing.

Sometimes earning more actually costs more.

======================================


And here's my reply:
======================================
Thanks, bro. I needed that. I do wonder sometimes if I made the right choice living in a slow-paced city, spending time with my parents, my stroke-victimized grandma, and my dogs. I work next door to the church, which means I can attend prayer meetings and midweek Bible studies. I serve as a worship leader, musician, and second man to my pastor. I get to spend an hour with God every morning in prayer and Bible reading if I wanted, and still read my Bible at night, answer e-mails, check out my crush's personal web site, and still be able to take a shower before bed time. I can live a simple life earning a middle-class income, but still support my family and my church financially.

I love you bro, and I know I made the right choice. God bless you and have a prosperous journey.

RJ

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The simple things in life come with simple choices. And though we take ventures in faith, we don't always know if we did the right thing, until we look back and see the fruit that it has produced. God is faithful.

Rey Lord and Macel's Wedding

April 14, 2007 - I attended a wedding. Two of my former classmates, Rey Lord and Macel, performed their wedding vows in church -- twice. The first was a Catholic ceremony and the second one was a Protestant ceremony. They decided it was the best thing to do, coming from different family backgrounds.

Rey Lord has been my friend since high school. Macel became our classmate in college. They became sweethearts in college at UPV Miag-ao, where we spent our college years studying to become geeks... Er,... IT professionals.

This was also kind of a college reunion for us.

Men in White


Ladies and Gentlemen


The Reception

So the wedding was mainly a four-part event: The Catholic ceremony, the cocktail and snacks, the Protestant ceremony, and the reception. I didn't stay for the dance.

During the reception, all the single guys had to pop balloons instead of catching the garter. The one who had the least balloons popped would be the guy to place the garter on one of the single ladies. So we had a tie -- Antonio and myself. We didn't pop any balloons (It was difficult to pop!) So to break the tie, we had to have a dance contest. This was my most embarrassing moment at the wedding. Here's the video. I hope you can laugh with me on this. I can't embed this right now, so just click on the link below:

RJ's Dance

Days of the Ordinary

And it came to pass in process of time, that the king of Egypt died: and the children of Israel sighed by reason of the bondage, and they cried, and their cry came up unto God by reason of the bondage.

And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob.

And God looked upon the children of Israel, and God had respect unto them.

Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father in law, the priest of Midian: and he led the flock to the backside of the desert, and came to the mountain of God, even to Horeb.

And the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed.

Exodus 2:23-3:2

Everyday is ordinary. Routine...work...boring? Perhaps not. God uses times like these to prepare us for greater service. Consider the story of Moses. Moses the prince. Moses the military general. Now he's Moses the murderer, Moses the fugitive. He fled from Egypt and lived near the backside of the desert, tending the flock. As Moses was running, God was working behind the scenes. God was answering the prayers of His people, Israel. And God will use a man whose daily routine was watching over the flock, and was content to do it. God was getting ready to call Moses who had no idea what great things lay ahead for him.

Contentment is a very important character that God wants to develop in us. The Bible says "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content." (1 Timothy 6:6-8). When our hearts are set on things above, and not hungry for material things that we don't really need, we become a ready vessel for God to use. God uses those whose eyes are fixed on Jesus. We are in this world but not of it.

Our daily routine can be an opportunity to look around us. There's always an opportunity to encourage, to love, to share. There's always an opportunity to tell the truth about Jesus to others. The ordinary days are important to God. It is the place to grow, and when those seasons come for God to move mightily and show forth His glory to the world, then we will be ready and well-prepared to be used by God. We have to be faithful in the little things. How we respond to the ordinary days will determine how we respond to the extreme days of the Spirit. That's because what's really in our hearts is exposed in the ordinary days -- days we would consider "boring" or "routine." In reality, this is where the action begins.

So be anxious for nothing. This is the season for planting, the season for preparing. It is at least that way in my life right now.

My Bread Crumbs

And Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst. ^{..." - John 6:35}

"This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success." - Joshua 1:8

"...Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God."
- Matthew 4:4


December 2005. In the year that endeth, my project accomplished to be it is (Yoda voice). Hectic schedule can affect neurological signals. Excited to come home to Iloilo for Christmas, I left my bread crumbs in Manila.

The Word of God is compared to bread. It is our daily sustainance. Jesus even said it about Himself. And I remember the story of Hansel and Gretel as they were marking their path with bread crumbs, making sure that they could get home safely. When I thought about the Word being bread and those bread crumbs, I started something called "The Bread Trail".

Before going to Manila for my hectic schedule back in November 2005, I would write down Scriptures that would grab me while reading my Bible as well as those I remember from years past. I would also write down good stuff I read in Christian books, especially those you can carry for life. I would place these in small index cards and bind them with a metal ring. That way I can keep them in my pocket and flip and read them throughout the day from time to time. This was my method of meditating on the Word day and night. But in Manila I left one set of my index cards. For a long time I only had the second half with me, The Bread Trail #2. I had some good notes on #1, and I missed it. It wasn't easy to move on. The only thing that kept me going was knowing at least I still had the Bible.

But recently my aunt from Manila came to visit us, and just when I didn't expect, after more than a year, she was carrying #1. She's still here as I'm writing this.

Praise God. I can run again, with a spring in my step, carrying the Word wherever I go.

Career Chopsuey

Today I was blessed in my devotion time as I'm meditating through the book of Acts. I read today about Paul and Silas making attempts to go places and God closing the door on them, finally directing them to Macedonia. And even then it wasn't easy to stay there where God had called them.

I take this time to write about my past as well as my present. I compare it to making chopsuey, or mixed vegetables cooked Chinese-style, since my growing up years were filled with variety as far as my dreams and ambitions. As I'm sitting here in the office with some time to do personal stuff, I look back in my childhood and see how far God has been controlling my life.

Let's start cooking.

Ingredients:

• Always keep God first
• Work as if God is your boss
• Know that people are observing you
• Never give up
• You may make a lot of wrong choices and attempts trying to get to the right path

1. As a child, I was a dreamer. My estimate of my temperament is Melancholic-Choleric or simply, Mel-Chol. I'm a very analytical, emotional, and passionate person that doesn't give up easily, most of the time. As a boy, I would always look up to my dad who was working as the head of human resources in a government university. I dreamed of becoming an executive, just like him. So my earliest childhood dream was that of becoming a professional in a management position.

2. As the years went by I had the desire to become a doctor. This was something that stuck for a while. But as time passed, I realized that I didn't want someone else's life in my hands -- a thought I now find useless as I'm all grown up and 26 years old.

3. Later on, I wanted to become a veterinarian. But as time passed, I realized that I didn't want an animal's life in my hands -- a thought I now find useless as I'm all grown up and 26 years old.

4. Longest career ambition: RJ, Attorney-at-law. This really stuck for about 6 years. All the way through my finishing high school my mind was set on becoming a lawyer. I even passed for a double major course, one of the majors was Political Science, a possible prerequisite for going to law school. So lawyerland, here I come. But not quite.

5. 1997 - A very short time left. Some weeks before the school year starts. I decided to let my mom help. She wait-listed me for a program called Computer Science, and that's when my blood began to stir in me. You see, I have been programming since I was twelve. Back then, we used Turbo Basic. That was my first break in programming code and actually letting the computer automate tasks. Finishing high school, I got a very high grade in my computer class, when we were using Turbo Pascal. So for four years I had been a geek in high school. And now it was time to take that path.

6. Starting my first year in college was a new environment for me. I found new friends, as well as old ones. It was to me, a new life. But I was wrong. A week before the finals towards the end of the school year I had the deepest depression I ever experienced. My whole world was coming apart. I had been depressed since early childhood, was diagnosed with it in 6th grade, and have been on and off medication until I was 17. But that pit of depression was my turning point. It was the time I received Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. At 17, I was born again. That was the time God completely healed me, and not just mentally and biologically, but spiritually. Now the new life truly started.

7. I became a Pentecostal shortly after my conversion to Christ, and the rest of my college years were a journey in my early walk with the Lord. I graduated in 2001 with a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science at the University of the Philippines in the Visayas. This was the time I contemplated full-time ministry, aiming for a Bible school degree right after college. But I decided not to pursue it at that time. After that, I rested for three months, and finally decided to get a job since I was so bored. I worked my first job in the same university I graduated from. I became involved in a campus-wide computer networking project, and my job was to complete the inventory of all the computers in the immediate area.

8. My first job didn't last long. My contract was non-renewable. I decided to work for my dad after that, doing work in his law office. Pretty soon I started working in church as church staff. I was full time for three days. But my dad needed help in his office and wanted me to learn secular work skills so I decided to work part-time church staff and part-time legal office assistant. This lasted for about 5 months. This was the season I contemplated full-time ministry again.

9. There was an opportunity that came up for further studies in Computer Science. So I decided to enroll in a diploma course. I eventually pursued full-time studies. In the midst of that, I found out that I didn't need the diploma, and that I could request to be transferred to a master's course in Information Systems. So I filed a request and by God's provision, I was transferred to the master's degree the following semester. So I was a master's degree student and it took me more than three years to finish it. It was difficult, but God sustained me through it all. It was in this season that I became part of the Calvary Chapel movement. Leaving the pentecostal movement, God planted me in a Calvary Chapel church.

10. For about three years, God led me through my spiritual desert. This was a time that I had opportunity to grow spiritually through the Word of God, prayer, fellowship, ministry, and discipleship. I'm grateful that Pastor Mike Ramsey took time to disciple young men like me and train them up in the ministry. So I was studying to become a master in my field and at the same time, I was in the school of the Holy Spirit, as God was growing me in my walk with the Lord. For me, this was even better than going to Bible school. I became a youth leader and a musician. Right now I'm a worship leader.

11. One big question in career planning is geography. I was at a crossroads of whether I wanted to pursue my career outside of my home city or within. I decided to pursue it within. God was calling me to build his house first before I build my own. I decided to stay in Iloilo and support my new pastor who was also discipled by Pastor Mike, and to minister to God's people at the same time I'm pursuing my career. God blessed me by giving me a job as a computer programmer, in an office next door to the church! So I don't have to travel far to get to my church from my office or vice-versa.

In conclusion, things don't always turn out the way we want, but at hindsight, we can see God's hand in it all. Not that I have already attained or already been made perfect -- I'm still learning. And there are still many decisions to make along the way of my career path. But God has called me to be both a geek and a musician. And there's no better way than to be yourself and be in the center of God's will.

What about all those other ambitions I had? Well, perhaps they'll come in handy. The information technology industry is a vicious place. And to survive, I need to be strong in the Lord, and equipped. There are things I could still need along the way:

• The courage of a doctor
• The mental discipline of a lawyer
• The heart and compassion of a pastor
• The will of an executive
  

God never wastes our experiences. All things work together for good, and God is working even in the midst of faulty assumptions, poor decisions, and foolish mistakes. All we have to do is trust God to lead and guide. Jesus is always faithful.

I'm Turning Japanese - part 3

On Sunday night we had pizza and balut as part of our dinner. It was fun watching these guys eat balut for the first time. Balut is a duck embryo we commonly eat here in the Philippines.



The Okinawa team's last day here was on Monday, March 12, 2007. They were able to go outing and cruising on Guimaras Island where they had a chance to relax. I found out that some, if not all of my brothers had some bad sunburns on their backs.



They also had the chance of witnessing to college students and sharing the love of Christ with them. One of the people they were able to share Jesus with was a young man named Mark (in the white shirt).


Monday night, we went out to dinner after I went to the church coming from work, and I was one of their chauffeurs. They really liked my jeep. It's for sale right now and as I'm writing this, I left it at a car repair shop to get the hood fixed.


Daniel gave me the privilege of shaving his head. So I placed the Calvary Chapel logo and the "Iloilo" sign on his head.







Tuesday morning was their time to go back to Okinawa. They were and are a blessing to us. Let's keep them in our prayers.

My Toast, My Niece, My Showers, My Head

Recently, I came across a new type of bread I can get at JD Bakeshop. It's a little white bread that looks a bit like a puffed up flour tortilla or a pizza crust. It also tastes great toasted. And it tastes awesome with some strawberry preserves. It's very affordable.


Webcams are very effective when maintaining long-distance communication. It's a great way to watch my baby niece in Manila. We have had some chats over Yahoo messenger with webcams. And I still need to get another light bulb in my room so it will be brighter when I'm on video. You can hardly see my face with just a single light bulb. My niece really looks cute on camera when she's irritated.

Tag-init. That's the term we use here in the Philippines to describe the dry season. We actually call it "summer", though probably Westerners will not agree. As the dry season is beginning, I find myself taking more showers than usual and using the aircon in my room.

My hair is really growing long. It's getting difficult to tie it in a pony tail. I might cut it soon. I'll probably just maintain it shoulder length. Otherwise I'll start looking like John the Baptist. Can anyone lend me some camel hair shirts or treat me to dinner where they serve locusts? I'll have a honey side dish.

Daily life, daily grind. God is still at work in the little details of our life.

I'm Turning Japanese - part 2

Sunday was a long but awesome day.

We had our morning service and Daniel and some from the team led worship.


Pastor Tommy Ruiz taught from the Word of God and encouraged the church to press on to greater ventures. God has more for us.


Lunch time - we were a large group that went out to BBQ park, and it was fun to have fellowship with these missionaries.


I especially like the part where Amber and Gershon were competing to see who finishes drinking their buko-halo (coconut with a mixture of crushed ice and all sorts of things) first.


Afternoon time was a time of fellowship with the young people in the church. Great Amoeba game, I should try it again sometime.


Keegan is an awesome speaker.


And Chela a great dancer. Peace, Che! =)


Evening time was a time of worship at the church and waiting on the Lord. God gave me a new song. I entitled it "Greater Than John", since Pastor Tom's message that morning really struck me. And God keeps saying to me what He said before, I think it was in 2004: "How far will you go?" And I finally answered: "Wherever You lead, Lord." I really don't like to leave Iloilo, but I know I need to be willing to go wherever the Lord leads. That door hasn't opened. And right now I'm just faithful to doing what the Lord has called me to do here in Iloilo, my homecity.

We had dinner at Mama Maria's pizza, and it was also a chance to watch the guys eat balut (duck embryos). We were even able to video it. They passed the test. They swallowed it. I taught them everything they know. Let the radicals arise!

Watch out for the conclusion of this trilogy...

Parents' 31st Wedding Anniversary

Recently, on March 8, 2007, my parents celebrated their 31st Wedding Anniversary. As I look back over the years, I see God's faithfulness to their marriage. God is the One who keeps our family together, and I praise Him for that. And I believe God will continue to do wonderful things in my parents' marriage, and even in my sister's marriage.

Currently, I am single. And I also praise God for that. I thank Him for showing me that yes, He is all we need, even in the area of marriage. I have seen it in His faithfulness in my mom and dad's union as husband and wife.

We went out to dinner together (yes, they included me, it was not an exclusive date), and we had a great time together.

I'm Turning Japanese - part 1

Yesterday a group of missionaries from Okinawa, Japan came to visit this little city of Iloilo. Headed by Pastor Tommy Ruiz, a group of young people from Calvary Chapel Bible College came on a short-term mission trip here. Some, if not all, the students are younger than me. I have been blessed to have been able to encourage them and be encouraged by them as we fellowship and as we seek to minister to the people here. They are ordinary people, just like me. God uses ordinary people to do His extraordinary work. As I'm writing this, the church service will start in 2 hours and 25 minutes. I'll be meeting them in an hour and 15 minutes, so I gotta get ready. 'Til next time... Let the radicals arise!

A Dog Picked Me Up From Work

It's kind of hard to believe, huh? Well, I'll give the details of the title "A Dog Picked Me Up From Work". Here's the scenario: My office is in a building located right next to the building our church is renting space in. In other words, I work next door to the church. In our church building's lot lives a family that is also occupying space on the property, and yes, you guessed it -- they have a dog. Normally, on Thursday nights, I would go to the church to start the music classes for the School of Worship. But this Thursday night, we took a break for two weeks at the same time the students are in school finishing up the school year with their final exams.

Maybe the dog had a hard time figuring out what went different with the schedule since no one was there for music class, so it decided to take a trip my work place's parking lot and sure enough -- I was there. It started to sniff at me, trying to get a good smell enough to recognize me. And when it realized that I was the same guy from the church, it was happy. It jumped on me and was wagging its tail, not letting up, and not leaving me. Finally I decided to take the dog home to its master, and they locked it up behind the gate.

They say that dogs are man's best friends. I guess the dog was just trying to get me to go to church, not realizing that we didn't have music class for that night. You know what? Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. He will never leave you nor forsake you, if he lives in your heart. And that's more love than that dog could ever give me. Jesus lives in me, and He always sticks to me.